2. Avoiding sex
If you’ve slipped into the bad habit of making excuses about why sex has dwindled or is nonexistent, your marriage may be headed for trouble.
Intimacy is the glue that holds a union together.
“You can’t set a potted plant in a corner for 20 years and expect it to live,” says couples therapist Valerie Shinbaum, a counselor for Westside Behavioral Care in Denver.
Not in the mood? Your attitude toward your spouse may be the problem.
“You need to feel good about each other to be intimate,” Tessina says. “If you constantly fight, criticize and spout negativity, you can’t be close.”
Gretchen Rubin, author of the bestseller, The Happiness Project (Harper Paperbacks), upped the romance factor in her own marriage by focusing on the positive in her spouse.
Her advice: Try concentrating for a month on all the things you love about your husband. Decide to say “yes” a lot more often than you say “no” when he initiates sex.
Men and women experience health and mental benefits from orgasms and from healthy physical touch, many studies have shown.
A hug lasting 10 seconds or more lowers blood pressure and releases the feel-good hormone oxytocin while levels of stress hormones decrease, according to a 2013 study of men and women ages 20-49 conducted by the Centre for Brain Research at the Medical University of Vienna. So go ahead and cuddle.